Grief Soundtrack
/ Books, Movies, and Music : Litsa Williams
We've written a few articles about grief soundtracks and music on WYG. But way back in the beginning, we were first inspired by Rolling Stone's writer Rob Sheffield's 2007 memoir, "Love is a Mixtape: Life and Loss One Song at A Time."
The book's concept was simple, 22 chapters written around 22 mixtapes (for you young ones, mixtape = playlist). However, the content was not: grief, love, and a relationship that ended far too soon when his wife, Renee, unexpectedly died of a pulmonary embolism.
Rob is an avid mixtape listener, and he takes us back to the days when many of us created mixtapes for every mood and moment. For example, the "You Like Music, I Like Music, I Can Tell Were Going to Be Friends" mixtape, the Break-Up mixtape, mixtapes for dancing and doing the dishes, and mixtapes for falling asleep. Through his 22 tapes, he reveals his deep grief and incredible memories and how he and his wife's shared love of music morphed into the music of their love, life, and loss.
Your Grief Mixtapes
When I was in high school, we used boom boxes and cassettes. I have vivid memories of the hours I spent combing through my music library to create the perfect playlist. And when I didn't have that perfect song-- listening to the radio and waiting to push record at just the right moment to capture it.
So I had to choose my songs wisely because I only had so much room, and OH THE FRUSTRATION when Billy Joel's 'We Didn't Start the Fire' got cut off because Side A ran out. Gone are the mixtape days, replaced now by streaming services, but the emotions behind a well-crafted playlist are still the same.
Like Sheffield says, "…there are all kinds of mixtapes. There is always a reason to make one." Before someone important to you died, you may only have had reason to make "Pump It Up: Gym Mix Tape #1"; but now the occasions are endless.
Cheer Me Up Mix
Energizing Mix
Mix to Make Me Strong
I Feel Crappy Today Mix
I Want to Be Sad Mix
Remembering You Mix
The songs on these playlists are your grief soundtrack; perhaps some that you play over and over because they help you to remember and feel.
Have you created a grief soundtrack (or mixtape or playlist?)
We think you should. In the words of Peter Rollins, who put it far more eloquently than we could ever hope to,
"No matter how great a song is it cannot raise the dead, cure cancer or make your lost lover return. Music does not change the world you live in, reverse time, or change history. It does not promise snake oil solutions to life’s woes. But music is anything but impotent; indeed it can be experienced as one of the most potent forces in our universe. For music can assist us in changing the way that we interact with the world we live in. Great music can help us to affirm life, embrace it, face it and sublimate it. In other words, music can help sensitize us to, and celebrate, the life that we participate in."
Looking for more about grief and music? We have tons of posts on that topic. Check out all of our grief and music posts, or some specific posts linked here:
We invite you to share your grief soundtrack with us, or at least a song or two. Leave a comment!
We invite you to share your experiences, questions, and resource suggestions with the WYG community in the discussion section below.
We wrote a book!
After writing online articles for What’s Your Grief
for over a decade, we finally wrote a tangible,
real-life book!
What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss is for people experiencing any type of loss. This book discusses some of the most common grief experiences and breaks down psychological concepts to help you understand your thoughts and emotions. It also shares useful coping tools, and helps the reader reflect on their unique relationship with grief and loss.
VW June 16, 2019 at 9:51 am
I have listened endlessly to the movie soundtrack of “The Red Violin” – so mournful with those sweet strings that just break my heart with their beauty again and again. Joshua Bell, the soloist, is my grief hero. Somehow it’s a little bit of salve after my son’s suicide. I think the matching of sorrowful sounds to my emotional sorrow is easing me through the days.
When my son had his first hospitalization for mental illness 11 years ago, I listened to “Requiem” by Eliza Gilkerson over and over (and over and over). It was the only music I could find that spoke to my broken heart and spirit. Again, it somehow stabilized me so I could function.
Simone February 23, 2016 at 5:37 pm
My heart will go on by Celine Dione
Lost without your love by bread
Sleep’s dark and silent gate by Jackson Browne
Song for Adam by Jackson Browne
Victoria June 5, 2015 at 3:38 am
These are some of the songs that bring me comfort since my teenage daughter Leah died last year from the side effects of her cancer treatment:
1) Worn by 10th Avenue North
2) No Man Is An Island by 10th Avenue North
3) Never Once by Matt Redman
4) Blessings by Laura Story
5) Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns
6) Somewhere Only We Know by Lily Allen
7) Oceans ~ Where Feet May Fail by Hillsong
8) A Beautiful Life by Mikeschair
https://victoriawhyte.wordpress.com
patrick April 25, 2015 at 2:07 am
I’d add Falconer Portals of light
creed, arms wide open
eric clapton tears in heaven
psalm 102
Johny Cash- hurt, so lonesome I can cry,
Phantom of the opera Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
Chelsea April 25, 2015 at 1:54 am
My Grief Soundtrack
1. Amazing Grace – Celtic Women
2. Address in the Stars – Caitlin & Will
3. All of Me – Matt Hammit
4. All of the Stars – Ed Sheeran
5. Always on Your Side – Sheryl Crow
6. Angel – Sarah McLachlan
7. Angel Wings – Artist Unknown
8. Angels on the Moon (Acoustic) – Thriving Ivory
9. Blessings – Laura Story
10. Brave – Idina Menzel
11. Come to Jesus – Jerico Road
12. Even If – Kutless
13. Far Away – Nikcleback
14. Fire and Rain (Glee Version) – Glee Cast
15. For Good – Kristin Chenoweth & Idina Menzel
16. Forever – Rascal Flatts
17. Forgiven – Within Temptation
18. Friends Never Say Goodbye – Road to El Dorado Cast
19. Go Rest High On that Mountain – Sandi Patty
20. Heaven Got Another Angel – Gorden Garner
21. Heaven Was Needing a Hero – Jo Dee Messina
22. Held – Natalie Grant
23. The Hurt & The Healer – MercyMe
24. I Dreamed a Dream – Anne Hathaway
25. I Miss You – Blink 182
26. I Will Not Say Goodbye – Danny Gokey
27. I Will Remember You – Sarah McLachlan
28. If I Never Knew You – Tiffany Thorton
29. Love Will Find A Way – Chorus/Gene Miller/Liz Callaway
30. My Immortal – Evanescence
31. Never Alone (Acoustic Version) – BarlowGirl
32. No Surrender – Glee Cast
33. One More Day – Diamond Rio
34. A Place Nearby – Lene Marlin
35. Please Remember Me – Tim McGraw
36. Red River Valley – Suzy Bogguss
37. Seasons of Grace – Helma Sawatzky
38: Seasons of Love – Rent
39. Somewhere Over the Rainbow – Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
40. Starts With Goodbye – Carrie Underwood
41. Tears of an Angel – RyanDan
42. Tell Your Heart to Beat Again – Danny Gokey
43. Things Left Unsaid (Acoustic) – Disciple
44. There You’ll Be – Faith Hill
45. With Hope – Steven Curtis Chapman
46. You’ll Be In My Heart – Phil Collins
47. Whenever You Remember – Carrie Underwood
48. Visitor from Heaven – Artist Unknown
Linda April 25, 2015 at 9:33 am
So Far Away – Avenged Sevenfold
Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) – Green Day
Oasis – Tarja Turunen
Now We are Free (Theme from Gladiator) – Lisa Gerrard
Linda April 30, 2014 at 9:43 pm
This is everything I’ve felt in the deepest darkest moments:
Oasis by Tarja Turunen
Ari-Amber March 2, 2014 at 2:37 am
I have written my own soundtrack through several songs that flowed out of me during the intensity of grief. I would love to share them with you! <3
Eleanor March 3, 2014 at 2:56 pm
Yeah, would love to hear!
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